Elopement vs Intimate (Micro) Wedding vs Traditional Wedding

An elopement used to be this thing where you run away with your lover and get married in secrecy. But things have changed! Now, it's a private and intimate ceremony between two people, usually held in a secluded location like a mountain, beach, or forest, and perhaps you've told all of your friends and family that you're going to do it. It's very possible to keep it's original meaning to heart and run away to Vegas and get married by Elvis, but these days, it pretty much just means "getting married without an audience". That might not sound as romantic of an answer as you were looking for...but keep reading! I promise not to disappoint.

Venice, Italy Elopement

What is an elopement?

Why would you elope?

I am very pro-elopement. To be fair, I'm pro-any type of getting married. But eloping in particular has a very different vibe to having a big wedding. You get to see so many more raw moments, so much more emotion, and people are truly just their authentic-selves. You are a slightly different person when you're surrounded by friends, and a different person around family, at work, on the street. But you get to be the "you" that you are when you're with your partner in private. That's the real "you", the "you" that feels like you don't have to wear a mask, or be brave, or act like you need to show off. That's why you're marrying each other, so you can both be "you's" together.

So, to answer the question of "why" you should elope; if you want to really be your most authentic "you", and marry your partner's most authentic "them", eloping is the way to go. There's nothing to hold back here, it's just the two of you constantly reminding each other of why you chose each other to spend the rest of your lives with.

Who is eloping for?

There is no one who shouldn't be able to get eloped, it's always a personal preference. I understand that there are certain parents or cultures that might be against it, but you have the power to push through these barriers. And if you find it particularly hard, I'm sending some elopement-vibes your way. Let's connect, so I can help you gain more confidence in your decisions!

Eloping is for those who want that super authentic ceremony, and also for introverts, people who don't like public speaking, people who don't like revealing emotions in public, or people who don't like being around crowds.

Where can you elope?

In a way, anywhere! It depends on how symbolic or official you want it. For it to be official, you still need to get those papers signed, of course. But you might choose to do that separately from the day, where you really celebrate each other. Let me give you two examples:

If you're eloping locally, you can choose to hire an officiant and take them to the location that you've chosen to say your vows. Then they can marry you on that spot. Or, you can do all the paperwork first, then go to the location of your choice to say your vows almost completely in privacy (assuming you hire a photographer).

If you're eloping abroad, I highly recommend doing the paperwork at home and, if you wish, having a celebrant there to symbolically marry you. Then you can, say, come to the Dolomites and elope with just the two of you. Check out this extensive resource on How to Elope in the Italian Dolomites.

People choose to elope in the mountains, on a tropical beach, in a bustling city, a pristine forest... it's really up to you. The top 10 elopement destinations in Europe are in Italy, Iceland, France, and some of the Greek Islands.

Can I have guests at my elopement?

You can, yes, but if you start inviting people then it starts becoming more of an "intimate" or "micro" wedding. The name doesn't matter, because you do whatever it is that you want to do! What's the threshold for elopement vs micro wedding? There's no official number, it's more a gut feeling. My gut feeling tells me that when you get to 10 people, you've got yourself a micro wedding.

What would I do for my elopement?

But aren't elopements just for people on a budget?

No! They can be for anyone. They absolutely can be for those who are on a tight budget and want to get married in a way they can afford. But it's also for those who had a high budget, wanted all the luxury, but didn't want the stress that comes with it. Or, as mentioned above, they just don't want to celebrate with a huge group, or don't like speaking in public. 

But think about the possibilities... if you took that budget you had for your wedding, and put it all towards your elopement, there is so much more you could do. You could get that helicopter, hire a private chef, ski/snowboard in the Alps, stay in some luxury hotels, have that Michelin star meal. A wedding budget can get you really far! And why not take hold of this once in a lifetime opportunity? TREAT YO-SELF, because you deserve it.

How do I start planning my elopement?

There are a few ways to go about this. First step, is to figure out approximately where you want to elope. Then, you can either narrow it down, or if you hire the right photographer/planner, they can help you figure out a specific location. Hiring a professional can give you so much clarity and relieve so much stress, so I recommend at least chatting with a few photographers/planners if you're wondering where exactly to elope. If you're still unsure, you can learn more about which vendors to hire for your elopement here.

Milan, Italy elopement

Lago di Braies, Italy Elopement

What if I want to elope, but also want to celebrate with my friends and family?

You have two options here. You can have an intimate micro wedding (see below), or you can go elope with the two of you, then have a party/reception when you get back. Then, you have the benefit of not having to speak in front of everyone (aside from a brief thank you) but still celebrating with those closest to you.